I have no idea.  Do you?  If you are into music, leave a comment telling me (and all four of my readers) who the coolest, hippest, trendiest new band is.  And, tell me why you think so.

I’ve been listening to Florence Welch lately.  Her new CD (and as far as I know, her only CD) is entitled “Lungs.”  Generally speaking, its a very good CD.  Of course, this is all opinion and you might feel differently.  But, Florcence really can sing, and “Lungs” is an apt title. 

In and interview Florence indicated that she wasn’t really a musician, but she liked to bang on things.  You can hear her banging on things on this CD.  She does it fairly musically.

The band is great.  The production is great.  Check it out.

On the way into the salt mine this morning, I listened to Roseann Cash’s CD entitled The List.  My tastes are somewhat different than Johnny Cash’s, and while I don’t think the songs on the list are necessarily the greatest of all time, some of them are great songs–Motherless Children and 500 Miles, for example.

Roseann Cash has a pretty voice and the recordings were, well “pristine.”  Not enough noise and subversion for my tastes, but then noise doesn’t get you very far when you are selling CDs to cross-over country fans via the end caps at WalMart and Target.  The rack jobbers have to earn their money, after all.

Everyone seems to be into “Americana” these days.   I’m an American, so why isn’t my stuff “Americana?”  Folks, its like this: there is no real “Americana.”  “Americana” is to music what Playboy bunnies are to real women.  Fake, fake and fake.  “Americana” is a category designed by some marketing gurus to increase sales to fat pudgy fucks in their 40s who don’t get hip hop and think Whitesnake is so 80s.  Just like the airbrushed, anexoric bleached blonde naked women were designed by some marketing guru to sell magazines to men who do not know how to talk to women.  One is a simulacrum of music, the other a simulacrum of sexuality.

Of course, I don’t know this for sure–at least about the Playboy bunny thing.  I’ve never dated a Playboy bunny.  Maybe they show up at the restaurant with their make-up person, their hair person, someone to shine the lights on them just so, and someone to fix their lipstick every time they take a pull from the long neck in their hand.  Maybe that is the real them.  Who knows?

On the other hand, maybe I just need more steroids to get moving today.  Derek?  Roger?

Well, we’re back at it.  Simon and I are guessing that the new full-length long play record (yup, vinyl) will be out sometime this fall.  We need ideas for publicity, people.

By now many of you heard of our sordid stunt involving Playgirl Magazine.  Nope, while I was never the Playgirl centerfold of the month, I did manage to write erudite, scintillating, entertaining and informative music reviews for Playgirl online.  I think Playgirl as a print magazine is a thing of the past.  While they maintain an Internet presence, I think a question its management should ask itself is “why bother?”

I think Playgirl’s replacement is a UK publication called “Filament,” which calls itself the “Thinking Woman’s Trumpet.”  I guess its a musical magazine, and since I played the trumpet in high school, well, I like it already.  But seriously folks, here’s a link:  (http://www.filamentmagazine.com).   From what I can tell, Filament is sort of like Playgirl except that it actually has interesting articles in addition to the photos of naked people.  Okay, well naked men, mostly, but there’s is an occasional naked women in the mix.  (Don’t ask me how I know.  I don’t read magazines that have photos of naked people in them!)

As it happens, Emma Jane Richards, the singer who sang Winter Moon in Welsh on our Darkness / Fire / Dancing CD, did a photo shoot for Filament featuring a naked guy taking a shower.  Emma is multi talented.

So, how does this relate to anything we’re doing?  Not sure.  Maybe tell Filament that they need some bitter, chronically depressed, moody, sardonic, sarcastic smart-ass musician writing thoughtful reviews of new musicians that are too cool for anyone else to know about.   Send them an e-mail here: hello@filamentmagazine.com.  Tell them you demand Fiskum.  Tell them I have a Master’s Degree in ethnomusicology.  Tell them I’m just like Jim Morrison except that I’m not dead and I don’t take drugs and I’m mostly a nice guy, and well… I know you’ll think of the right thing to say.

Um, okay, okay.  I haven’t written any blog posts for a while.  I overslept.  Sorry.

Check out Fiskum next Thursday, May 20, at 10:00 p.m. at the studios of Twin Cities Radio and Late Night Minneapolis.  The address is 2532 - 25th Avenue South, Minneapolis, Minnesota.  This place was a bar, formerly known as “Pi.”  Now its a radio and television production studio.  We’re playing with a full band.  Fast and loud.  Loud and fast.

See you then, kids!

Fiskum’s second major ;recording project is underway.  Being the trendy musicians that we are, this time we are going to release it on vinyl only.  If you buy the record you can also get a free download.

The working title of the album is “Gringo Sluts.”  But, we’re considering other titles, too.  If you have any ideas, let us know.

I dunno.  Started working on a second CD, though.  In order to save money, we’re recording in Simon’s basement for now.  Pro Tools LE, a couple of computers, too many keyboards, and wires and cables all over the place. 

Can you say “midi hell?”

I dunno.  Started working on a second CD, though.  In order to save money, we’re recording in Simon’s basement for now.  Pro Tools LE, a couple of computers, too many keyboards, and wires and cables all over the place. 

Can you say “midi hell?”

My friend Dave is a writer.  Professional.  He’s also a restaurant critic for a local newspaper.  So this is all top secret, and I can’t disclose the name of the restaurant, but last Saturday Dave took me to a restaurant he was reviewing.  I had this hamburger that was stuffed with blue cheese (I like blue cheese) and covered with bacon and peanut butter.  I was going to order the Spam Bites but they were all out.  So, I figure this hamburger had maybe 92 grams of fat.  Tasted pretty good. 

Hmmm…  I thought there was a joke in there somewhere, but I guess there isn’t…

UNLESS— you guys want to write one.  With that as the set up, the best smart ass comment gets a free Walk 4 The Cure 2 song single CD.  Don’t let me down.  I’d do it for you.

Okay, okay.  I’m back.  I took a sabattical for a while.  Sort of.  If you can call languishing in a county jail outside of Predonia, MN, a sabattical.  I mean, how was I supposed to know it was illegal to go driving with a friend really fast at night out in the country and lean out the window with a baseball bat and take batting practice on mailboxes?  No one ever told me.  But thanks to all of my friends and supports for making bail for me.  It was heartwarming, really.  As I checked out of the jail, I noticed that people had raised $30.25.  I asked the sheriff who contributed the twenty-five cents, and he said “everyone.”  I guess that’s why it took so long, with everyone just contributing a quarter.

Speaking of contributing–we’re peddling a new song.  It’s intended to raise money for people who go on the 3 Day Walk to raise money for breast cancer research.  If you are going on the walk, let me know and I’ll send you some (free) CDs to sell.  The catch is you need to donate the sale proceeds to your walk fund.  If you are not going on the walk, send me a couple of bucks and I’ll send you a CD and donate the money you send me to the walk, less $1.00 for postage and the cost of manufacturing the CD.

Okay, watch this space.  We’re going to be doing more stuff in the future.

Oh, and just a disclaimer–no mailboxes were actually harmed in the writing of this post.  Just in case you need reassurance.